| January 29, 2005
HOF City? Hold Your Buns, We’re
Weenies! Author: JIM HILLIBISH Section: Local News Article Text: It’s dangerous creating a community identity. We tried during the election, “Stark County, Bellwether of Presidents.” When the world’s media caught on, it became, “Stark County, Home of Sagging Front Porches.” Let us press ahead. It’s the Canton Bicentennial Year, and a lot of us are thinking about who we are. We need a community identity. The Hall of Fame is a great resource, a sticker on our police cars, but is a wrong identity. Perils lurk. North Canton recently became the Dogwood City (they have dogwoods in Dogwood Park). It instantly got perverted to Dagwood City, amid the political comics up there. We need an identity safe from the wags, important to us, memorable to the world and, especially, all-American promotable. But mostly, this time it has to be iron-tight true blue, and cute. Allow me to propose we declare ourselves “The Weenies of the World!” This is no chamber of commerce pabulum. We already are WOW! And the world knows it better than we do. We make more wieners here than just about any place on the planet, millions of them. We are home to not one but the two most famous hot dogs. Superior’s Frankie the Keener Wiener is, well, Our Frankie. Sugardale’s Coneys for decades have been so popular, folks call their lesser competitors “coneys.” Superior’s newcomer Bunz (bun-size) are up and coming. And don’t forget the footlongs. It’s huge. “Canton, Ohio” is on every package. We never think about this. We take our own Dogs of Fame for granted. We teethed on them in high chairs. We’ve chomped them at innumerable picnics. We pay $4.50 for them at ballparks. It’s time we give our noble sausages their just desserts, beyond mustard. Upstart cities know if you choose an identity, it must be fuzzy and warm and capable of marching in a parade. Wieners are funny, recall only fond memories, taste great and on and on. Frankie salt and pepper shakers already are in the Toy Museum. There arends named Frankie the Keener Wiener Dog. Take a moment and say the word “Coney.” Is that not the most mouth-watering word on earth? We need a Weenie Week to celebrate our wienerness. Imagine the possibilities. The Mayor’s Grilling. The Wiener Pride Fashion Show. The Enswinees Civic Dinner featuring you know what, all plump and juicy, on soft Nickles buns. Then there’s the T-shirts: “Eenie Meenie Weenie” for kids, “I’m a Footlong Man” for guys, and you can make up your own for women. Then comes the massively adorable Grand Parade of Wiener Dogs. My mini-doxie is more than ready, and she craves hot dogs. We could fill it out with the Best Bunz contest on the Square, the Newborn Child Who Looks Most like Frankie and three days of nonstop Coney-consuming contests at the Fairgrounds, culminating with a concert by our signature band the Hot Dog Flavored Water (it’s a real band, really). Ridiculous, you say. Well, there are national festivals for garlic, potatoes, carrots, onions, pickles, everything edible, all fabulously successful. Impossible, you think. The Timkens, Beldens, Harters and Hoovers heard the same thing. It’s a natural evolution of our community that we salute our beloved of sausages, born here, raised here, eaten everywhere. We are the American Way, on toasted bunz. You can reach Repository New Media Editor Jim Hillibish at (330) 580-8324 or e-mail: jim.hillibish@cantonrep.com Copyright 2005, The Repository, All Rights Reserved. Record Number: 205302 |